I had wedding blues after the wedding was all over. I’d so enjoyed all the planning and it had taken up so much of my time that I was gutted when it was all over and really missed it all.
But then I wanted to go on and have a child after the wedding straight away. I guess I’d had a few years partying, we’d had a few years together, I’d got a good job and savings in the bank – so I felt ready. And when my daughter was born and I was so stitched up after the birth I could hardly move, it was great that my husband was able to take control and I didn’t have to worry about anything because he had so much experience from his other children.
So it’s all been great becoming a mother – it’s really changed my outlook. Of course, everyone is affected by their own childhood to a degree. And I did have thoughts at first about how I was left in the lurch by my parents. Of course, it wasn’t my Dad’s fault that he got ill – but my parents dying within such a short time of each other did affect me. So, almost as soon as my baby was born I booked an appointment with the bank to set up a bank account for her straight away. Yes, I had control of her bank account – but it wasn’t so much about money but more about support and what might happen to her if something happened to me or her Dad,
It does make me feel more grown up having a child of my own. I always wanted children and, of course, I have a good understanding of what it feels like to lose a parent.
I’m due to go back to work soon, but I have loved my year’s maternity leave. I’d pretty much worked since I was 16years old so it was nice to have a break from the work routine. But I know this can’t last forever and I’m not dreading going back to work – plus it will be part-time, I’ll just need to get into the swing of leaving my baby with the child minder.
